Thursday, September 13, 2012

July 1-July 7


Sunday morning my mom and my grandma went to church with Dave and I and the kids and Dave's parents went to church with his sister. After church we all met up again for lunch at our house. That afternoon my grandma and Dave's dad left for home because they both had to work the next day. So the rest of us just hung out at the house relaxing. I sent a text to my friend saying "I feel bad that everyone is just sitting around staring at me waiting for a show or something" her reply "give them one, start moaning and rocking back and forth" HAHAHA. Probably not. That night Dave went to church with his mom and I stayed home and rested. He came home and his mom and sister AJ with them to spend the night. So we put Elisha to bed and Dave went to bed shrotly after so he could go to work for a couple hours the next day. Around 10:45pm I became really uncomfortable and my back began hurting really bad. I couldn't sit down or stand up without being in pain. I went back and woke Dave up and told him we better make a trip to the hospital just in case. His mom and sister made their way back to our house while my mom was here with Elisha and we made our way down. On the way I had a few strong contractions. While being checked into the triage the nurse said I still had not progressed but she could see I was having strong contractions and after knowing Nathaniel's condition she said she did not feel ok sending us home. So we got to do the dreaded walking starting around 11:30 she said come back in 45 min to check progress.

Monday morning 12:15 we get back to triage still no change but serious contractions. Go walk some more. 1:15 we come back by this point my contractions are 2 minutes apart and making me drop to my knees in the middle of the hallways. Still no change. 2:30 we are back and I finally made enough change for them to keep me. Now we are both exhausted and I am in a lot of pain. While admitting me to my room I can hardly hold still for them to run an IV because of the pain. During all of this I am praying like I have never prayed before that everything is going to go smoothly and that we are going to see a miracle of him being just fine when he gets here. I finally got my epidural around 4:30 ahhh relief. Because of the long night we just had (been awake for almost  24 hours now) they told me to get some rest. At 5:30 the doctor was in (not the Dr. I wanted to be there but I didn't really have a choice at that point.) At 6:30 he decided I was ready to go broke my water and told me to start pushing. Right then I looked at Dave standing on my left and all I could say to him was "Honey I'm scared!" He held my hand and prayed for me. After 20 minutes of pushing and running out of epidural Nathaniel Ethan was born at 6:50am on July 2. I started crying when he did something the doctors said he would not do when he was born and that was let out the most beautiful cry that has ever reached my ears. I remember just looking at Dave and saying "HE CRIED HE CRIED THEY SAID HE WOULDN'T BUT HE DID!!!"

Saturday, July 21, 2012

June 24- 30


Sunday my husband let me take it easy after all that was going on the day before.

First thing Monday morning was my Amnio. :s I was sooo not looking forward to this. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on whether or not it hurts. And I really wasn't looking forward to finding out. We went in had an ultrasound where we got some great pictures of our little man. Then it was time for the amnio. It really hurt, but all I could think was I need to do this for my baby. Afterwards I also had to get a rogham shot. The doctor thought he was pretty funny when he asked me which one I would rather have to which my quick response was "The rogham". Then down the hall to my non-stress test. While being hooked up to the machines Dave got a phone call from work that he had to answer so he stepped out into the hall and the nurse was out helping other people. Sitting there alone I suddenly felt really bad pain. The second Dave walked back into the room I told him he needed to find someone and quick. He went and found the nurse and she came back and looked at my monitors and said "yup, your having contractions which is normal after an amnio." I had a few more while I was in the chair and a couple during the car ride home and then they stopped. That afternoon my son had a doctors appointment because he was not feeling well and during that visit the ladies in the office asked for an update so I told them about the amnio that morning.

Sometime between Tuesday and Wednesday we finally got the results back from the lung maturity and the initial results from the chromosome defect scan. The doctor said lungs were not quite ready yet but that 5 out of the 6 chromosome defects they look for were negative and the 6th one we would not hear back on till next week. Praise the Lord for the report we got back. I called the kids doctors office to give them an update and the lady that I talked to said "you know, after you left the other day I went into my office, closed the door, and said a prayer that all those results would come back normal and I am so happy that my prayer was answered." Then she told me she was going to start crying so she had to hand the phone to someone else to answer my question I had about one of my kids.

Thursday was another OB appointment and after the doctor checked me for progress they told me "any questions don't waste your time calling go straight to Labor and Delievery."

Friday I spent the day taking it easy figuring labor was going to be coming soon. Enjoyed my kids and relaxed as much as possible. That night I was feeling uncomfortable so we figured we should go into L&D  because I never had real contractions with my daughter and wanted to make sure all was well. When we got there a nurse checked me and said I was definatly in labor and said I was a 5 and 90%. I was admitted and taken down to a room. Dave and I immidiatly called the family and got them on their way. The nurses had me change into a gown and got me all hoooked up to an IV. About 45 minutes after getting admitted they checked me again. The nurse I had now said "Oh, wait, your not that far along your only a 4 and maybe 80%. Because you are not 39 weeks or after we can't have you do anything (walking etc.) to see if you make progress so we will just have you lie here in bed and check you again in an hour and if no progress we are going to send you home." An hour later... no change. We called the family right away and told them we were being sent home. They all decided to come over anyway for the weekend just in case.

Saturday was spent walking the mall and other stores with all the family members.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

June 17-23


This week started off with Sunday afternoon spent timing contractions. Oh boy.... For about four and a half hours they were anywhere from 6-14 minutes apart but not consistent and not really painful. At 7pm Dave told me that if I had one more he was going to make me call the doctor. I didn't have another one after that. This was all kind of scarry to me. Is it? Isn't it? What should I do? Was I ready? Praise the Lord they stopped.

Monday I went in for my NST and ultrasound fluid check. The NST went good Nathan was moving the whole time. After my NST I asked the lady helping me if she knew how long it took to get the results back from an amnio. She said that the lung maturity test took three hours and that the chromosome check would take 7-10 business days. Then she asked me when I was having it done. I told her next Monday to which she responded "we will probably get the results back the following Tuesday." So the third?!? I went into panic mode "WOW WE MAY HAVE SOMEWHAT OF A DATE." As I sat in the waiting room awiting to go into my ultrasound I text my husband and a couple of my friends to let them know what she had said. Everyone was doing their best to calm me down as I was trying not to cry because it is getting sooooo close. I was in a shock I guess you could say. I am excited to meet him but the unknown is what is getting to me.

Tuesday evening was my baby shower. It was a lot of fun. The opening devotional was very touching. The lady who spoke reminded me that I need to do whats best for my family and protect them. No matter what everyone else around us is saying Dave and I need to listen to what God is saying to us and follow Him. I felt very blessed after spending time with all these ladies who mean so much to our family and who I know are praying and thinking of us constantly.

Wednesday was our 7th Wedding Anniversary. I made a nice dinner at home and then Dave wanted to spoil the youth kids so we took ice cream and toppings. Yumm. We had a great day. It was nice to celebrate this milestone together with our kids.

Thursday had my weekly OB appointment. During this appointment she also decided to check for any progress. The first question she asked me was "how fast are your labor and delieveries?" I told her "first one was 6 hours pushing for 12 minutes and the second one was 13 hours pushing for 20 minutes but she was face up so thats why it took longer." Then she asked "when were they born compared to their due date?" My response "they were both a week early" Then she asked "how far are you from the hospital?" I said "5-10 minutes, is there something going on?" and she said well you could easily go into labor anytime." WHAT??? WOW!!! Talk about shock. We were thinking we had about another week and a half but now she said this... I might not make it to their estimated induction time period. She said that induction was still the plan unless he decides to come on his own earlier and that if that was the case we would deal with it when the time comes. I called Dave the second I walked out of the doctors office. The first thing he said was "are we going to be heading back down to the hospital tonight?" I told him I hoped not I want him to stay in there a little bit longer I have some things to do before he gets here haha. Thank you Lord that You have brought us this far on this journey that You have trusted our family with. Your will be done not mine. Amen.

Saturday we were planning on having a big BBQ at our house with some of our friends before everything gets crazy around here. However, our plans got changed. That morning I was having really bad swelling in my hands and feet after only being up for a short time period. In the afternoon I suddenly started not feeling well I tried to lay down and I began sweating and my stomach was in knots. I called the on-call OB and she said to go in and find out what was going on. So we packed a quick bag and headed downtown. Once down there they got me all checked in the determined that I had not progressed any. Then the Resident doctor says "you are having contractions 3-5 minutes apart" "I am? I'm not feeling anything." So they called my OB to fill her in on what was going on and she said that because I was not progressing and was not feeling the contractions to send me home. The doctor came in and said "your doctor told me to send you home but I'm going to give you a choice. Do you want to stay for a little while longer and be monitored to see if these contractions bring on anything or do you want to go home?" I chose to go home. By this time of the day the BBQ was cancelled. I am very thankful though that Nathan decided to stay in there a little bit longer.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

June 10-16


Sunday was a good day. Before service the Holy Spirit was definatly moving. During worship when we got the the song "Healer" I began to break down. Then a little girl at our church, who the doctors say the white matter around her brain is disappearing and there is nothing they can do (we know they don't have the last say in that), went up front and began to sing the line "nothing is impossible for You, nothing is impossible, nothing is impossible for You, You hold my world in Your hand." Hearing that the tears began to pour down my cheeks as all I could think about was Nathan standing up there someday singing that same thing as a praise report.

Monday back to the Perinatologist for another round of NST and an ultrasound to check fluid levels. On the way there I was stressing out a little bit about finances with everything going on. When I pulled up to a parking meter put my truck in park and got out to put change in I saw that whoever pulled out of that spot had left about an hour and 10 minutes worth of time in the meter so I didn't need to put as much money into the meter. Than you Lord for reminding me that You will take care of us.

Tuesday while Dave was at Men's group the kids and I went for a short walk down the block to get them out of the house. The weather has been horrible so they have been cooped up in the house. We stopped for a while at our neighbors house and her and I had a great talk. She has had multiple high risk pregnancys all of which have ended without problems but it is still nice to have someone to talk to about everything. After talking to her I was thinking to myself (which is not the best sometimes) that when Nathan gets here and Dave follows him to the NICU for his testing I won't be able to be there for my husband when he needs me. I know that he will have family there but it is MY job to be there for him (our job to be there for each other but I told him he had to follow Nathan). I know this situation is different then most because I will not be able to be there because of my own health at that moment. I had to remind myself that the nurses assured me that as soon as I am cleared by the doctor (hopefully soon after having him) they will take me to where he is via wheelchair. I know that I will be able to be there as soon as I can for my family. The neighbor also told me that it is ok if we need alone time when Dave and I are finally able to be together up on the NICU floor. She said that people will want to be there for us but should understand if we need a few minutes to be there together and cry/pray/whatever it is we need to do at that moment. I pray that I will have the wisdom to know what we all need at that moment.

Thursday I had a weekly OB appointment and NST. The NST went really well. We actually ran out of tape and when the doctor came in and looked he said that we got in 18 out of 20 minutes worth of readings and in that amount of time he did more than enough movements and Nathans heart rated changed enough that he was not worried about it. Then the doctor sat down and we began talking about delievery day and how he had been talking with all of  my other doctors and in our specific situation they all together agreed that it would be best to induce. He asked when my Amnio was set for and I told him. He said "ok and we are checking lung maturity on that day?" I said " Yes and how longdoes it take to get those results back?" He:"within a couple hours and if the lungs are mature enough we will induce as soon as those results come in." Me:"You mean like same day?" He:"Yes". WOW it hit me. That is in 10 days!!! Then he looked at the paperwork and said "oh, wait, we are checking for any chromosomal defects also right?" I said " Yes" then he said "well then that will take a little bit longer to get those results back but probably same day we get those back we will be calling you in to induce." WHAT?? WOW!! IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN. We then talked about how long those results would take to get back and he said he wasn't sure that I would have to ask the doctor doing that procedure how long his lab will take. So now we are looking at the first part of July. This was all a lot to take in. I immediatly text my husband and told him doctor said induce and that's the final say. Of course because he wasn't there to ask questions he was asking me all kinds of things
going through his mind. I answered as much as possible but until I see the Perinatologist next week I will not know anymore than that. And even after that appointment I STILL will not have a SET date because it all depends on how long it takes to get the results and what the results say.

The end of this week I had to keep reminding myself that communication is going to be very important for Dave and I. We are getting down to the end, things are becoming more and more real and if we are going to make it through we are going to have to keep the lines of communication
wide open. All the emotions are going through my mind right now.


Missy and I decided that the remaining appointments, minus the Amnio that I will attend, I will be missing, and remaining at work due to the fact that when Nathan arrives there is a chance that I may miss alot of work.

The remaining weeks  don't seem so far away in reality. It hit me the other day just how quickly Nathan will be here, one way or another, induced or come by God saying he's ready.

There are all sorts of emotions going through me right now. Everything from scared, nervous to being very excited in anticipation for Nathan finally coming. Above all of this we are finding great peace in the Lord, and in Him alone do I trust. My flesh may rise up and the enemy can try to steal my focus but I know that Jesus will see me through this storm as lond as I keep my focus on Him.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

June 3- June 9

This week we decided that Dave should work instead of missing a ton of work when he is already going to be missing a lot of work soon. Gotta make sure the bills are paid. So the appointments over the next couple weeks I will be attending alone.

Monday I had my second non- stress test with the Perinatologist. This time our little man was bouncing all over the place and then fell asleep and made no movements. However, I still had to be hooked up to the monitors for at least 20 minutes. When the 20 minutes was up the nurse took the script paper to the Perinatologist to look at and make sure it was ok. A few minutes later she came back and said "apparently he did everything he needed to in the first five minutes then went down for another nap, which is ok we got what we needed." I am so thankful that these NST's are going really smooth and they keep saying that he is doing great.

Wednesday after having a conversation with my friend and my husband I had a bit of a break down. I know that God is trying to work and I just have to wait and keep working for Him, but this waiting is SSSOOO HARD! Not having answers to big questions in our lives right now and yet still trying to handle the little things.... I know it will all work out and that God has us in the palm of His hand and He will see us through and He knows what is best for us but the patience is obviously something I am running low on. Lord please let us continue to hear from You and have patience to wait for you and have faith in You. Amen. Also today we spoke with the realtor trying to sell our house and she wants to do an open house this weekend. Ok so one more thing to add on top of everything else.

Thursday was an OB appointment and another NST. Again Nathan did everything he needed to do in the first few minutes of the test then rolled over and went to sleep. The doctor said it looked good. This was also the same doctor who had mentioned c-section a few weeks ago. We had a really good talk. He said they currently have another patient who is going through something similar and after talking with her Cardiologist (who is my Cardiologist's partner) they decided that natural would be the way to go to keep everyones from unneeded stress, and he was sure that it would be the same for me. Praise the Lord. One less thing to worry about. That would mean faster recovery so I can take care of my family.

Saturday we spent some family time at the mall then went to a graduation party. Some of the people at the party I had not saw in a while and knew I was pregnant but didn't know everything. So I used it as an opportunity to share our story and our hope with those people. I love that I get a chance to share the wonderful Hope that we have in Jesus. After getting home and resting for a while I was talking with my husband and we talked about how I we want to make sure we are spending a lot of time with our kids now before everything got crazy over the next couple of weeks. We have both also expressed that we want to start packing bags for everyone so when the time comes we are ready to go. That stresses me out a little bit as it makes me realize how close we really are to Nathan's arrival. Earlier today AJ and I were cuddling on the couch and he was rubbing my belly and saying "hi" to baby brother. I took this as an opportunity to tell him that the doctors say he is really sick so we need to pray that Jesus would make him all better and he closed his eyes and whispered a little prayer "dear Jesus, please make baby brother feel better. Amen" I am so proud of him. Thank you Lord.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Weekly updates

As we are counting down the weeks, from here on we will be posting weekly updates to keep you all updated on our NSTs (2x a week), weekly OB appointments, thoughts, emotions, etc... If anyone would like to contact us we can be reached at thank you and God Bless


This month started off with Elisha falling down the basement stairs and a trip to the emergency room. After 2 hours of being in the ER they said she was just fine and walked away with only a few little scratches on her belly. I told my husband that "God must have something BIG planned for our kids because the two we already have had so many things happen to them where they should have been seriously injured and have only walked away with minor bumps and bruises." After getting home from the ER I started having sharp pains in my right side. I could breathe and any movements I made made it hurt worse. After suffering for five hours with no relief from tylenol, a warm shower, drinking lots of water, and rest, I finally called the OB on call. He told me it sounded like a gall bladder attack. He also said that I was already doing all the right things that I could be doing at home and if I went in to get checked out all they would do is give me pain medication and send me home. Right when I hung up the phone with the OB Dave got home from work and I told him what was going on and he said that if I wanted to go get checked out that he would take me. I really didn't want to spend more time in the ER than I already had that day, plus I didn't want to be taking perscription pain medication while pregnant. So I decided to tough it out. Dave left for men's group and I stayed home with the kids just resting on the couch as much as possible. Around 8pm that night the pain got so bad I ended up crying out in pain to the Lord. I eventually dried up my tears got up and gave the kids their baths and got their jammies on. Dave got home shortly after that and said that the men had been praying for me. Around 10:30pm I felt the pain start to disappear and by the time I woke up the next morning the pain was completely gone. And now writing this I have still not felt any pain.

About a week after Elisha fell down the stairs I was cleaning out the car for a friend to use and the kids were playing in the back seat. I turned my back for a moment and AJ decided to open the car door that Elisha was leaning against. She fell out and hit her face on the driveway causing her to almost bite through her lip and cause one of her teeth to be offset. I took her to the dentist and they said she damaged some of the muscle fibers that hold her teeth in place but it looked like she would make a full recovery. Thank you Jesus.

Today during church Pastor talked about people needing to make sure their heart is right. I pray that
all that I do brings Glory to God and that I don't let myself get in the way of what He is trying to accomplish through Nathaniel's story.

The first OB appointment of this month we met with another doctor (there are five of them and it depends on who is on-call is who will deliver the baby.) This doctor asked if we had set a c-section date yet. We told him that all the other doctors had told us that it would not be needed. This doctor seemed confused by this he said he would rather we not have one either but with how controlled the situation has to be (bypass machine, surgeons ready, etc.) that a c-section might be best. He said he would talk to the other doctors and they would let me know.

When Mother's Day came around it brought an array of emotions. I was so thankful to be a mom and have two beautiful healthy children and on the other hand I was struggling inside with all that was going on with Nathan. I still have hope and I still believe that God can and will preform a miracle it is just the human part of me that wants to be "prepared" for what is coming no matter which way God decides. A couple days later a lady from church called me and said she was talking with the receptionist at one of her stores and the lady just happened to mention that her granddaughter was going in for surgery in a couple of days. My friend asked her what the surgery was for and the lady responded "she was born with half a heart." They started talking and my friend told her she knew someone who was getting ready to go through the same thing. The lady gave my friend her daughters number for her to pass on to us so that Dave and I could reach out to them if we felt the need. She also wrote down a website for people who have friends and family members going through serious illnesses to communicate and build eachother up.

A few days later I had a bit of a scare and was told by the on-call nurse to go to Labor and Delievery to get it checked out. This was terrifying to me. I was home with the kids Dave was at work and I didn't know where to start. I had to get the kids dressed, call Dave and tell him what was going on and what I was told to do, and find someone to watch the kids. I made a few phone calls and everyone seemed to be busy and Dave and I decided he shouldn't leave work yet because he has already missed so much for doctors appointments and with more on the way it was just best. Finally I was able to arrange for a neighbor to come to the house and sit with the kids. At first when I got in the truck and was making my way to the hospital I was ok, a lil nervous, but ok. It seems the closer I got to the hospital the more I began to shake. Trying to find a parking spot I began to cry. Walking through the parking garage and making my way through the maze they call a hospital to the Labor and Delievery floor I was trying to calm myself down and fight back the tears. I was so upset that I could not even read the clock right next to me to write down my check in time. This whole thing was making it seem so real to me that this is all really going to happen. If not today very shortly. I know I had many people praying for me while I was going through this as well as trying to keep my focus on God and believe that He was taking care of it all. At first the nurse I had was really crabby and made me almost cry. After explaining to her the full extent of why I was there and why I was so worried she had a change of heart and became very understanding. About three hours of monitoring the doctor assured me that everything was ok and they sent me home. One of my close friends afterwards told me that God probably allowed that to happen so that when the real time came I would be better prepared for what I was getting into. I am so thankful that He has been putting strong women of God in my life just when I need a reassuring word because I am so wound up in what is going on that I am not hearing it from Him myself.

Had another OB appointment toward the end of the month. Again, saw yet another OB and the way she talked it sounded as if it was going to be a c-section but they are not going to set a date until we get the results of the next ultrasound, the next cardiologist appointment, and a couple non-stress tests to see how all is going. I was also advised to set the appointment for my amnio.

The song that is really helping me get through my days right now is "He said" by Group 1 Crew. The words say " I won't give you more, more than you can take, and I might let you bend, but I won't let you break, and know I'll never let you go." God is right there with me going through this and He will not give me more than I can handle.


It sounds wierd to tell people that "the only thing wrong with Nathan, is that he has half a heart." In the beginning of this journey, that simple phrase sent my world crashing down, because it wasn't just half a heart, there was this possibility and that one, that something else could be linked to his condition, and he could have even more problems, Thank you Lord that none of that was the case.

In my men's group we are going through a Chip Ingram series called R12, its a study on Romans 12. Which by the way is a very good series that I would recommend any small group doing. Through this series I, probably others but I can't speak for them, am learning to REALLY open up, that it's ok to be vulnerable. The main focus thus far of this study is that the REAL YOU, meets REAL NEEDS, for the RIGHT REASONS, in the RIGHT WAY.

Through all this I find that when someone asks me, "how I'm doing?" I'll tell them. I no longer just say, "good," but I'll sit there and talk thier ears off. A good  friend of mine asked me the other night how things were going. I though for a minute, then it seems like out of nowhere, I just started talking about anything and everything I was involved in, this friend seems to have that effect on me. We talked about work, family, ministry and eventually we got to the topic of Nathan. I found myself opening up and admitting that as of now I find it's easy to hold it together, because all of the appointments seem to be all the same up until now, nothing new, praise God, Nathan is growing normally, heart rate is good... But after the "scare" we had earlier this month, it all got real, really quick. I admitted that when the time comes for Nathan to join us, I'm probably going to be a royal mess.

So many things, worries, concerns try to steal our focus from WHO GOD IS, and WHAT HE IS DOING through all of this. The same can be said for all of us in everyday life, the important thing to remember is that the only thing that counts is our relationship with Christ, that we love, trust and obey Him. Everything else will burn, it has no eternal value.

Lord help us to keep our focus on You, oh God. Forgive when we loose track of who you are and begin to worry. We try to figure things out in our flesh and it seems that all we do is get scared and make a mess of things, forgive us for trying to your job Lord. Your grace is sufficient for my family and I, its your grace that has brought us safe this far and I thank you Lord that you haven't brought us here just to leave us on our own, you will see us through this season. Lord I pray that you would bless all who take time to read the story of what you're doing through us, Lord you said if you be lifted up you would draw all men unto you. God there are so many of our friends and family who need you Jesus, as we give you the glory and praise and lift the name of Jesus higher, may you begin to draw them unto you Lord. In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus...Amen.