March part II

MOMMY
A friend from church invited the kids and I up to her house to catch up during the day while the husbands were at work and the older kids were in school. She hadn't heard a recent update so she asked for one. I began to share with her that they found the veins were not working right which would mean he would have to have surgery same day and told her about all the tests they wanted us to take. Now this friend is someone that I can share a lot of myself with so I went on to tell her that I just want Nathan to be healed and I know God can do it, but the human side of me is thinking long term about all the bad stuff that "could" happen. She flipped around and said "Stop... you can't just know God can heal your baby, you have to say it will happen, thank Him for it, and move past it." She shared with me a sermon she receives monthly through the mail from a few years ago that talked about unbelief. Reading it later that night I read about the mountain I want moved will not be moved when I am dwelling on stuff. God can't move in my life if I don't believe that He will. I have to BELIEVE and claim it. The sermon also talked about the "Final Prayer". With your problems or issues you need to say "Lord this is what I want you to do but Your will be done not mine." He knows what is best for your life. He is on your side.

The following Sunday after church I was handed a letter addressed to Miss Missy & Mr Dave. I was a little curious as to what it said but I felt that because it had both of our names on it I decided to wait till the drive home to read it out loud to Dave and myself. I began to read and tears started welling up in my eyes:

Dear Mrs Missy & Mr Dave
God said that Nathaneil has a whole <3 not a half a <3 but a whole one. I told my mom about it and I felt lead of the Lord to tell you that Nathaneil has a whole <3 and you don't have to worry anymore. God Bless you.

It was signed by an eight year old girl in our church. Then at the bottom of the page was a drawing of a little baby with a big heart drawn over the chest and the heading for it was Nathaneil Ethan Watkins with a whole heart. I looked over at my husband and all we could do was smile. All that we could think was "the heart of a child". It reminded us that the Bible tells us to have the heart of a child and come to Him believing everything He tells you just like a child does with an adult influence.

While reading a devotional it talked about the story of Lazarus and how when he died Mary and Martha blamed Jesus for not being there and "Jesus wept." His weeping showed His God sized capacity to feel the pain we feel in times like these. These ladies were short on hope but when they saw their brother brought back to life they were again filled with hope. This encouraged me and reminded me that NOTHING is too big for Him. He can raise people from the dead, He can move mountains, He can do ANYTHING. Nathan's heart is a small thing for Him to fix. I have faith God WILL fix his heart and I have faith that the Lord knows what is best for my family.

2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. When your fearful you get too wrapped up in the issue that is staring you in the face. Instead you need to look around the fear at how God can use this situation to touch you and others around you and bring Glory to Him. With us we are able to tell people this horrible diagnosis but then talk about how God will heal him and how important our faith is to us. He has been faithful to us before and He will do it again even if the outcome is not the way I wanted it to go, He's got it in the palm of His hand.

1 Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. As we meet people and they wonder how we can have such faith we need to make sure we are studied up in the word of God. He will never leave nor forsake us.

We got to meet the OB doctors for the first time. I was so nervous. I went to midwives with both of my other kids and I loved the relaxed atmosphere they brought into a room. It was like having your favorite aunt with you. However, because I am now considered high risk I now need to be seen by an actual doctor and deliever at a completely different hospital so the doctors can all be there and be prepared for him. The doctor asked us how we were dealing with what all we had been told and we told him we had a strong support system between God, our church family, our families and friends that we were doing pretty well. He said he was very glad that we had a great support system.

DADDY

In my line of work, running a pre-finish shop doing alot of stain and laquer work,I'm very careful about what I drag home as far as fumes and such. I found myself almost wondering and blaming myself for Nathaniel's conditions. "What did I expose my family to that this happened?" This kind of thinking is not only unhealthy physically but spiritually as well. I found myself in a dark place on the inside, but putting on a smile on the outside. This lasted for about a week or two, then through the words of my pastor in his sermon on a sunday morning I was reminded of John 9:1-3. Jesus heals a man that was born blind, walking by the desciples asked Jesus who sinned, was it the man or his parents that he was born this way? Jesus answered, niether, but that the glory of God could be shown in his life.

Hearing those words really put my mind at ease. I came to the realization that Nathaniel was not being "punished" for anything I had did, or because I was covered in fumes, but that the glory of God would be shown through him. Also that Missy and I were chosen for this journey. God saw us as faithful to handle this. We would give glory and honor where its due, which is what we aim to do through this blog, to inform everyone about progress, and ultimatley to honor God through this.

We appreciate everyone taking the time to visit our little blog here, it's very humbling to think that this many people would take time out of thier busy lives to see what's happening in our lives, thank you and God bless you in everything you do!