April II

The Sunday after the retreat during prayer time I had a really good time with the Lord where I broke down and I could hear Him say "It's ok, I've got you." Then on my back I felt a little hand and I heard AJ's little voice say "Thank you God for Mommy." I melted all over again. Thank you Heavenly Father.

The next day I was on the phone with one of the ladies from the retreat and she said " I just have to let you know that today at both of our morning services (traditional and contemporary) we took communion and both times during service we took the bread in memory of Nathaniel and asked that God would just give him a new heart. Not just fix the old one but give him a whole new one." Amen

Again throughout this month I got a chance to talk with many people about Nathan's condition and I find myself saying at the end of conversations "But God still does MIRACLES." Praise Him!

Close to the end of the month the lady that prayed with me at the retreat came over to bless me with some prayer and to wash my feet (something that was done in Bible times as a sign of blessing someone as Jesus washed the disciple's feet to represent respect because that wasn't something they could do for themselves). One of the things she brought up was about Seth. He was the third born and a boy from Adam and Eve, and eventually Seth's family line brought Jesus. My friend joined us for this time and she said that this time was just for me. She said "I can tell there are times that you feel alone in this mission and you are not, the Lord is with you every step of the way. Take this time to relax, enjoy and open your heart and mind to what the Lord wants to speak into you."  Some of the things that stuck out to me the most that she said while praying over me was He trusts you and Dave to handle this task just as He trusted Mary and Joseph and Dave and I are partnered with God to create and bring Nathaniel into this world to bring Him GLORY.

Three days later I had an OB appointment. Nathan's heart sounded good beating away and his growth was great still measuring a couple weeks ahead. The next day we had a Cardiologist appointment. The doctor said everything still looked the same (we still have hope). We will only see him one last time before Nathan arrives just to make sure that they have as good of a clue as to what is going on as they can. He had us take a tour of the NICU while we were there just so we would know where it was and meet some of the faces that we would be seeing between my hospital room and Nathans first couple hours of care. I was filled with emotions as we went through the NICU. On one hand it was scary to look around and see all these little sick babies and know that this is what the doctors are going to say it is going to look like for my baby (maybe even worse because he will need a bypass machine to help him breathe before he goes in for his first surgery). It also kind of helped me to see all the nurses taking care of these babies and giving them great care and all the machines that they did have readily available to care for these little gifts. I pray we would just see a miracle and Nathan completely healed and not have to go through all of this.

That weekend Dave had won us tickets to the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage seminar. It was great for the two of us to get away in the middle of all these doctors appointments and just have a good time.

Monday we were back to more doctors appointments. On the way there (it was my birthday) I told Dave the greatest gift I could get would be the doctors saying he's all better, you don't have to go to all of these crazy appointments anymore, you can go back to seeing the midwives, etc. However, that was not in the doctors vocabulary that afternoon. The Perinatologist did say that they think they may have found his spleen (something they have been unable to find and can be missing in babies with this heart condtion) but if it is his spleen it is on the wrong side of his body. He also said baby was still measuring a week and a half to two weeks ahead weighed 3pounds 3oz. I also received a text from my cousin after refering her to the blog that said the following "Thank you Missy. I know that even in the best of circumstances, it is difficult to not worry or wonder what the worst is to come. You and your family have been one of the greatest opportunities and I can't thank you enough, or be greatful enough to have this beautiful story touch my life. Dave, AJ, Elisha, and Nathaniel are truly blessed to have such a wonderfully strong woman in their lives. And yes you are incredible to lead so many people in faith and prayer. Nathaniel is a great miracle of God, but don't forget that you are too. Add Arkansas to your list of believers who are praying and believing in your miracle. Next after our home and onwards. We love you and your beautiful family so much and look forward to meeting your newest member." This touched me so deeply. Thank you God for putting this cousin in my life and using her to remind me who I am in you. Amen