MOMMY
I have been staying home a lot lately as the kids have been passing around a bug with a high temperature. I have been trying to use this time to pray a lot and try to mentally prepare for everything. This week we have a ton of appointments lined up. Tuesday I ended up taking Elisha in to the doctor because she had been having a high fever since Friday with no other symptoms. The doctor ended up sending her in for lab work at two other locations. Then Tuesday afternoon I had an ultrasound appointment and my first non-stress test. They started me off with the NST which wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be. At first he was moving but his heart rate wasn't adjusting the way they want it to when he is moving. So they had to wake him up by using a lil buzzer. That just made Nathan mad and he moved away from their monitors all together and they spent 10 minutes looking for his heart rate again. Then he didn't want to be bothered so the lady had to hold the monitor on him and follow him around with it instead of just using the bands to hold it in place. Then went in for the ultrasound where he decided he didn't want to be looked at so he kept putting his hands and his feet in the way. Little stinker. By the end of it the Perinatologist said he was still growing good and everything looked the same. Thank you Lord! Got another good 3d picture of his face. He definatly looks like his daddy. :). Tonight after Dave came home from Men's Group we got to talking about everything and he mentioned about how it was getting so close and expressed some of his concerns like how he was worried about me if I have to have a c-section and everything else. I tried to assure him that I would be fine but inside I was trying to tell myself that at the same time.
Wednesday we were home for the day. Kids are still sick so didn't want to take them out anywhere. So made dinner and sent Dave off to church tonight while the kids and I had more time at home. The kids went to bed really early so I took advantage of this time to rest and read my Bible. It just so happens that this months devotionals are on Faith. God knew that was just what I needed at this point in time.
Thursday AJ woke up with a fever so back to the doctors office we go for him. again no other symptoms except the fever. The doctor gave us reccomendations for the fever and sent us home. We had enough time to rest before I had to take the kids up to our friends house who was going to watch them during my appointments today. First off was the Cardiologist. He said everything looked the same and said to have the OB call him so they could get some sort of a game plan down. He then sent us for more tours. We went through the PICU (Pediatric ICU) This is where Nathan will go after his surgery. The lady that gave us the tour was very informative. She talked about visiting rules, security rules, how many nurses per child there were etc. This was hard for me at first because she mentioned older siblings coming in to visit and I just imagined how hard it would be to explain to our other two kids why their baby brother isn't coming home right away. But I know the Lord will be faithful and if it comes to that (I pray he would be healed and we won't have to go through any of this) He will give me the words and the kids the understanding. It was a lot to take in but also very calming to know how well he would be taken care of. Then we looked in the Surgery waiting area where she said that is where we will wait while he is in surgery and how they will inform us of everything that goes on. Then we went downstairs and toured the Labor and Deliever and the Mother Baby Units. All of the nurses there seemed very nice. Then back up to the NICU(Newborn ICU) where he will be taken right after birth to run his tests and get hooked up to monitors and be preped for surgery and all of that. After all of this we sat down with a Neonatologist who will be the people that take Nathan from my room to the NICU and will be the ones who run the tests and hook all his tubes and monitors up. She explained to us the "routine" for a baby with this diagnosis and assured us all would be ok. Then down the street we went to my weekly OB appointment. Not much new at this appointment either. Nathan and I are still measuring on target, his heart beat was nice and strong, and my blood pressure was perfect. AMEN. One thing that was mentioned today was the OB thought about doing a steroid shot to make sure his lungs were maturing well. He chose to leave that decision up to the Perinatologist. After spending a few minutes on the phone with the Peri they decided that it was not necessary because we did not plan on delievering in the next week and after that time we would be that much closer anyway. So we made sure that the NSTs were on the agenda for my weekly OB appointments and headed to pick up our kids.
By the end of this day I was so exhausted and felt like a human pin cushion from all the poking and proding and walking. When I was laying in bed I began to giggle from exhaustion. Eventually it shifted to crying for a few minutes because everything we had just gone through today is so close and making it all REAL. I was able to calm myself down and pray until I fell asleep.
Friday morning woke up sore physically but mentally refreshed from the time I spent praying. Thank you Lord. I know He has it all under control.
DADDY
Although it was a lot of information to take in on one day, I left the appointments Thursday feeling reassured. The tours were especially helpful to me, I got to put places and rooms to the "plan" that the doctors had been talking about this whole time. We met with a neonatologist while on the tour, and she took the time to explain the process to us, and show us around, she was very nice and answered all the questions we had.
We were re-informed that with Nathan's condition, best case we would be spending at least a month at the hospital. We are still praying and beleiving for a miracle healing, as fun as spending that much time in a hospital sounds, we still know that God performs miracles.
I would like to thank all you again for visiting our blog, sharing in our story and for all your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate it more than you will ever know, and may God bless you as you are blessing us.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
April II
The Sunday after the retreat during prayer time I had a really good time with the Lord where I broke down and I could hear Him say "It's ok, I've got you." Then on my back I felt a little hand and I heard AJ's little voice say "Thank you God for Mommy." I melted all over again. Thank you Heavenly Father.
The next day I was on the phone with one of the ladies from the retreat and she said " I just have to let you know that today at both of our morning services (traditional and contemporary) we took communion and both times during service we took the bread in memory of Nathaniel and asked that God would just give him a new heart. Not just fix the old one but give him a whole new one." Amen
Again throughout this month I got a chance to talk with many people about Nathan's condition and I find myself saying at the end of conversations "But God still does MIRACLES." Praise Him!
Close to the end of the month the lady that prayed with me at the retreat came over to bless me with some prayer and to wash my feet (something that was done in Bible times as a sign of blessing someone as Jesus washed the disciple's feet to represent respect because that wasn't something they could do for themselves). One of the things she brought up was about Seth. He was the third born and a boy from Adam and Eve, and eventually Seth's family line brought Jesus. My friend joined us for this time and she said that this time was just for me. She said "I can tell there are times that you feel alone in this mission and you are not, the Lord is with you every step of the way. Take this time to relax, enjoy and open your heart and mind to what the Lord wants to speak into you." Some of the things that stuck out to me the most that she said while praying over me was He trusts you and Dave to handle this task just as He trusted Mary and Joseph and Dave and I are partnered with God to create and bring Nathaniel into this world to bring Him GLORY.
Three days later I had an OB appointment. Nathan's heart sounded good beating away and his growth was great still measuring a couple weeks ahead. The next day we had a Cardiologist appointment. The doctor said everything still looked the same (we still have hope). We will only see him one last time before Nathan arrives just to make sure that they have as good of a clue as to what is going on as they can. He had us take a tour of the NICU while we were there just so we would know where it was and meet some of the faces that we would be seeing between my hospital room and Nathans first couple hours of care. I was filled with emotions as we went through the NICU. On one hand it was scary to look around and see all these little sick babies and know that this is what the doctors are going to say it is going to look like for my baby (maybe even worse because he will need a bypass machine to help him breathe before he goes in for his first surgery). It also kind of helped me to see all the nurses taking care of these babies and giving them great care and all the machines that they did have readily available to care for these little gifts. I pray we would just see a miracle and Nathan completely healed and not have to go through all of this.
That weekend Dave had won us tickets to the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage seminar. It was great for the two of us to get away in the middle of all these doctors appointments and just have a good time.
Monday we were back to more doctors appointments. On the way there (it was my birthday) I told Dave the greatest gift I could get would be the doctors saying he's all better, you don't have to go to all of these crazy appointments anymore, you can go back to seeing the midwives, etc. However, that was not in the doctors vocabulary that afternoon. The Perinatologist did say that they think they may have found his spleen (something they have been unable to find and can be missing in babies with this heart condtion) but if it is his spleen it is on the wrong side of his body. He also said baby was still measuring a week and a half to two weeks ahead weighed 3pounds 3oz. I also received a text from my cousin after refering her to the blog that said the following "Thank you Missy. I know that even in the best of circumstances, it is difficult to not worry or wonder what the worst is to come. You and your family have been one of the greatest opportunities and I can't thank you enough, or be greatful enough to have this beautiful story touch my life. Dave, AJ, Elisha, and Nathaniel are truly blessed to have such a wonderfully strong woman in their lives. And yes you are incredible to lead so many people in faith and prayer. Nathaniel is a great miracle of God, but don't forget that you are too. Add Arkansas to your list of believers who are praying and believing in your miracle. Next after our home and onwards. We love you and your beautiful family so much and look forward to meeting your newest member." This touched me so deeply. Thank you God for putting this cousin in my life and using her to remind me who I am in you. Amen
April I
This month didn't seem as busy. I think it was because we had come to grips with the fact that we would be going back and forth to many appointments and so we were able to brace ourselves with prayer before each one.
The first part of the month my friend came up to me and asked what song I had told her about that was explaining my feelings a month or so ago. I searched through my notes and couldn't find anything in particular that matched the description she gave, which is that it was an Aaron Shust song. So I spent the afternoon researching all of his songs and nothing came to me. That night at church during prayer I heard the words "A peace that passes understanding is my song , and I sing, my hope is in You, Lord." That's it I yelled. Then I went to her to find out the rest of the story. She informed me that she heard that song on the radio and the announcer said that Aaron's baby that was just born was going to be going in for open heart surgery. I almost started crying that this song played in my head while I was experiencing what I was going through with Nathan and the writer himself was going through something similar. I felt like it was made for us to say "you're not alone." After church that night one of the guys who attends our church asked me what our next appointment was so he could be praying for us. I told him that actually the next day was our next appointment. As he was walking away he turned and said " just remember, God has a plan in all of this and no matter what happens He is in control."
The next day we had an appointment with the Perinatologist. They told us Nathan is a whopping 2pounds now. Then of course he has to bring up the other stuff he said the fact that Nathan has this heart defect gives is a 25% chance that it is congenital and the two vessel cord ups that percentage a little bit. Then he went on to say "however, babies with congenital disorders are usually very small and your boy is measuring at least a week and a half ahead if not more so that brings your percentage back down a ways." Praise the Lord!! I keep remembering the fact that they have yet to pin point a cause for the heart defect. It could only be God waiting to show Himself mighty when He heals our boy.
About this time is when the idea of a blog came to me. I have already been writing everything down and with all of the people we have all over the country praying for us it would be easier for people to follow us. My hope for it also would be for people who are going through similar situations to see the hope, peace, and faith we have and hopefully they will come to know the Lord through it, if they don't already.
This month we also made our first trip home since finding out about Nathan. We decided to make the trip Easter weekend. I was really nervous about how people would act toward us. I prayed a lot before going. God answered my prayers and people mostly just asked how we were doing and how Nathan was growing. Quite a few people also told us they were praying for us. I can not wait for God to heal little Nathan to increase everyones faith around us.
Just after Easter I had my Glucose Screen. I was not looking forward to it and not for the same reason most women don't like it (I really don't mind the drink) #1 because it was in the same lab where we had our ultrasound and found out about Nathans heart, #2 I really dislike needles, and #3 I didn't control myself too well on the Easter candy over the weekend. At the end of my one hour wait the
lady called me back to do the blood draw and she asked how the pregnancy had been going so far. I took the opportunity to share with her about his heart and how we had hope that God will heal him and all she said in the end was "well bless his little heart." A few days later was my next OB appointment to get the results from my screen. The doctor said i passed with flying colors (thank you Lord.) I was in a really good mood especially after hearing that and the doctor even made it a point to say he noticed we were in good moods today. Then at the end of the appointment he told us that in a couple weeks we would start going to weekly appointments with him where we would to the regular OB checkups as well as a onehour Non-Stress Test (NST) where I would be hooked up to monitors so they can keep an eye on Nathans and my stress levels to make sure everything is ok. Not only would I be doing weekly NST's with my OB he also said that I would also be going to the Perinatologist once a week for the same thing. So Mondays I will be at the Perinatologist and Thursdays at the OB. Well if that's what my baby needs then that is what I will do.
I can't wait for him to be healed.
Mid month there was a Womens Retreat where women from churches all across our area came together for a Friday and Saturday conference to worship and learn from God's word. Friday night we separated out into groups of four or five people to branch out and meet new people. During our small group time I had a chance to share Nathan's story with the women in my group. After small group time one of the ladies from my group asked if she could request prayer for me during prayer time. I agreed. When evening session was over she came and got me and took me to one of the ladies from her church who was on the prayer team up front. The lady prayed for me and shared a good word with me that included God chose Dave and I for this task because He TRUSTS us and found us worthy. Just like Mary bringing the miracle called Jesus into the world. At the close of camp the second day the sermon ended talking about HEALING POWER (something I did not expect with the other sermons we had heard that weekend). Then we were all handed cards and we were instructed to write a letter to God telling Him how we were going to take what we learned about this weekend and apply it to our lives. After writting the letters we were to take them up and put them on the alter and the speaker was going to take them home and pray for all of them individually. I took my card up front and when I turned to go back to my seat I was stopped by a woman who is a Pastor's wife from a neighboring church that I know and she said we are going to pray for you please wait here. So I stood up front while the music continued and people were having their own prayer time. When the room was quiet again she grabbed the mic and announced to all the women that were there that she wanted the women from my church to come up and stand around me and then she told the other ladies that they were going to pray over me and Nathan and that the doctors say he has half a heart but we know that God can heal and she invited anyone else who wanted to come lay hands to do so. Before I knew it I had around 80-100 women around me I felt hands on my shoulders, head, back, stomach, arms, legs, and even feet. I could definatly feel the power of God around me at that time and it was very humbling. As everyone was finished and walking away I heard a lady (I didn't see her there were too many people around me) say "I believe you are the reason most of the ladies were called up here this weekend so they could pray for you." That made me start crying all over again and filled my hope again.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
March part II
MOMMY
A friend from church invited the kids and I up to her house to catch up during the day while the husbands were at work and the older kids were in school. She hadn't heard a recent update so she asked for one. I began to share with her that they found the veins were not working right which would mean he would have to have surgery same day and told her about all the tests they wanted us to take. Now this friend is someone that I can share a lot of myself with so I went on to tell her that I just want Nathan to be healed and I know God can do it, but the human side of me is thinking long term about all the bad stuff that "could" happen. She flipped around and said "Stop... you can't just know God can heal your baby, you have to say it will happen, thank Him for it, and move past it." She shared with me a sermon she receives monthly through the mail from a few years ago that talked about unbelief. Reading it later that night I read about the mountain I want moved will not be moved when I am dwelling on stuff. God can't move in my life if I don't believe that He will. I have to BELIEVE and claim it. The sermon also talked about the "Final Prayer". With your problems or issues you need to say "Lord this is what I want you to do but Your will be done not mine." He knows what is best for your life. He is on your side.
The following Sunday after church I was handed a letter addressed to Miss Missy & Mr Dave. I was a little curious as to what it said but I felt that because it had both of our names on it I decided to wait till the drive home to read it out loud to Dave and myself. I began to read and tears started welling up in my eyes:
Dear Mrs Missy & Mr Dave
God said that Nathaneil has a whole <3 not a half a <3 but a whole one. I told my mom about it and I felt lead of the Lord to tell you that Nathaneil has a whole <3 and you don't have to worry anymore. God Bless you.
It was signed by an eight year old girl in our church. Then at the bottom of the page was a drawing of a little baby with a big heart drawn over the chest and the heading for it was Nathaneil Ethan Watkins with a whole heart. I looked over at my husband and all we could do was smile. All that we could think was "the heart of a child". It reminded us that the Bible tells us to have the heart of a child and come to Him believing everything He tells you just like a child does with an adult influence.
While reading a devotional it talked about the story of Lazarus and how when he died Mary and Martha blamed Jesus for not being there and "Jesus wept." His weeping showed His God sized capacity to feel the pain we feel in times like these. These ladies were short on hope but when they saw their brother brought back to life they were again filled with hope. This encouraged me and reminded me that NOTHING is too big for Him. He can raise people from the dead, He can move mountains, He can do ANYTHING. Nathan's heart is a small thing for Him to fix. I have faith God WILL fix his heart and I have faith that the Lord knows what is best for my family.
2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. When your fearful you get too wrapped up in the issue that is staring you in the face. Instead you need to look around the fear at how God can use this situation to touch you and others around you and bring Glory to Him. With us we are able to tell people this horrible diagnosis but then talk about how God will heal him and how important our faith is to us. He has been faithful to us before and He will do it again even if the outcome is not the way I wanted it to go, He's got it in the palm of His hand.
1 Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. As we meet people and they wonder how we can have such faith we need to make sure we are studied up in the word of God. He will never leave nor forsake us.
We got to meet the OB doctors for the first time. I was so nervous. I went to midwives with both of my other kids and I loved the relaxed atmosphere they brought into a room. It was like having your favorite aunt with you. However, because I am now considered high risk I now need to be seen by an actual doctor and deliever at a completely different hospital so the doctors can all be there and be prepared for him. The doctor asked us how we were dealing with what all we had been told and we told him we had a strong support system between God, our church family, our families and friends that we were doing pretty well. He said he was very glad that we had a great support system.
DADDY
In my line of work, running a pre-finish shop doing alot of stain and laquer work,I'm very careful about what I drag home as far as fumes and such. I found myself almost wondering and blaming myself for Nathaniel's conditions. "What did I expose my family to that this happened?" This kind of thinking is not only unhealthy physically but spiritually as well. I found myself in a dark place on the inside, but putting on a smile on the outside. This lasted for about a week or two, then through the words of my pastor in his sermon on a sunday morning I was reminded of John 9:1-3. Jesus heals a man that was born blind, walking by the desciples asked Jesus who sinned, was it the man or his parents that he was born this way? Jesus answered, niether, but that the glory of God could be shown in his life.
Hearing those words really put my mind at ease. I came to the realization that Nathaniel was not being "punished" for anything I had did, or because I was covered in fumes, but that the glory of God would be shown through him. Also that Missy and I were chosen for this journey. God saw us as faithful to handle this. We would give glory and honor where its due, which is what we aim to do through this blog, to inform everyone about progress, and ultimatley to honor God through this.
We appreciate everyone taking the time to visit our little blog here, it's very humbling to think that this many people would take time out of thier busy lives to see what's happening in our lives, thank you and God bless you in everything you do!
A friend from church invited the kids and I up to her house to catch up during the day while the husbands were at work and the older kids were in school. She hadn't heard a recent update so she asked for one. I began to share with her that they found the veins were not working right which would mean he would have to have surgery same day and told her about all the tests they wanted us to take. Now this friend is someone that I can share a lot of myself with so I went on to tell her that I just want Nathan to be healed and I know God can do it, but the human side of me is thinking long term about all the bad stuff that "could" happen. She flipped around and said "Stop... you can't just know God can heal your baby, you have to say it will happen, thank Him for it, and move past it." She shared with me a sermon she receives monthly through the mail from a few years ago that talked about unbelief. Reading it later that night I read about the mountain I want moved will not be moved when I am dwelling on stuff. God can't move in my life if I don't believe that He will. I have to BELIEVE and claim it. The sermon also talked about the "Final Prayer". With your problems or issues you need to say "Lord this is what I want you to do but Your will be done not mine." He knows what is best for your life. He is on your side.
The following Sunday after church I was handed a letter addressed to Miss Missy & Mr Dave. I was a little curious as to what it said but I felt that because it had both of our names on it I decided to wait till the drive home to read it out loud to Dave and myself. I began to read and tears started welling up in my eyes:
Dear Mrs Missy & Mr Dave
God said that Nathaneil has a whole <3 not a half a <3 but a whole one. I told my mom about it and I felt lead of the Lord to tell you that Nathaneil has a whole <3 and you don't have to worry anymore. God Bless you.
It was signed by an eight year old girl in our church. Then at the bottom of the page was a drawing of a little baby with a big heart drawn over the chest and the heading for it was Nathaneil Ethan Watkins with a whole heart. I looked over at my husband and all we could do was smile. All that we could think was "the heart of a child". It reminded us that the Bible tells us to have the heart of a child and come to Him believing everything He tells you just like a child does with an adult influence.
While reading a devotional it talked about the story of Lazarus and how when he died Mary and Martha blamed Jesus for not being there and "Jesus wept." His weeping showed His God sized capacity to feel the pain we feel in times like these. These ladies were short on hope but when they saw their brother brought back to life they were again filled with hope. This encouraged me and reminded me that NOTHING is too big for Him. He can raise people from the dead, He can move mountains, He can do ANYTHING. Nathan's heart is a small thing for Him to fix. I have faith God WILL fix his heart and I have faith that the Lord knows what is best for my family.
2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. When your fearful you get too wrapped up in the issue that is staring you in the face. Instead you need to look around the fear at how God can use this situation to touch you and others around you and bring Glory to Him. With us we are able to tell people this horrible diagnosis but then talk about how God will heal him and how important our faith is to us. He has been faithful to us before and He will do it again even if the outcome is not the way I wanted it to go, He's got it in the palm of His hand.
1 Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. As we meet people and they wonder how we can have such faith we need to make sure we are studied up in the word of God. He will never leave nor forsake us.
We got to meet the OB doctors for the first time. I was so nervous. I went to midwives with both of my other kids and I loved the relaxed atmosphere they brought into a room. It was like having your favorite aunt with you. However, because I am now considered high risk I now need to be seen by an actual doctor and deliever at a completely different hospital so the doctors can all be there and be prepared for him. The doctor asked us how we were dealing with what all we had been told and we told him we had a strong support system between God, our church family, our families and friends that we were doing pretty well. He said he was very glad that we had a great support system.
DADDY
In my line of work, running a pre-finish shop doing alot of stain and laquer work,I'm very careful about what I drag home as far as fumes and such. I found myself almost wondering and blaming myself for Nathaniel's conditions. "What did I expose my family to that this happened?" This kind of thinking is not only unhealthy physically but spiritually as well. I found myself in a dark place on the inside, but putting on a smile on the outside. This lasted for about a week or two, then through the words of my pastor in his sermon on a sunday morning I was reminded of John 9:1-3. Jesus heals a man that was born blind, walking by the desciples asked Jesus who sinned, was it the man or his parents that he was born this way? Jesus answered, niether, but that the glory of God could be shown in his life.
Hearing those words really put my mind at ease. I came to the realization that Nathaniel was not being "punished" for anything I had did, or because I was covered in fumes, but that the glory of God would be shown through him. Also that Missy and I were chosen for this journey. God saw us as faithful to handle this. We would give glory and honor where its due, which is what we aim to do through this blog, to inform everyone about progress, and ultimatley to honor God through this.
We appreciate everyone taking the time to visit our little blog here, it's very humbling to think that this many people would take time out of thier busy lives to see what's happening in our lives, thank you and God bless you in everything you do!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
March part I
DADDY:
The following is something that was layed on my heart this month in the form of a poem:
The Day I Met Nathaniel Ethan
I met my son the other day, and an undescribable Joy overwhelmed me
The doctors say he has half a heart,
But they don't know that You work to completion,
and have known Nathan from before the start.
As the measure of my faith is put to the test,
I stand on Your promises, and lean on Your everlasting arms for rest.
They ask me how I'm doing, they say "I'm sorry" and that they will pray.
Yet when I open my mouthto speak, they're preplexed by what I have to say.
I have a Joy thats unspeakable and a peace that's beyond all understanding,
I have You to thank oh my Lord, because it's by Your wounds we have healing.
God, You've revealed to me what Nathan will accomplish for Your glory
With a beginning testimony like his, I know his life is going to be quite a story.
Father I thank You for my son,
I have the authority to speak life into him, because on the cross You said it is done.
In the name of Jesus, nothing missing, nothing broken...
"In Christ alone, my hope is found,
He is my Light, my Strength, my Song...
What Heights of LOVE, what DEPTHS OF PEACE
when fears are STILLED, when strivings CEASE, my COMFORTER, my ALL IN ALL
here in the LOVE of Christ I STAND!"
MOMMY:
March was another busy month.
The first part of the month we were instructed to meet with a Genetic Counselor to talk about different tests we can run. During the conversation with her we also went through all of our family history and genetics to see if we could determine what caused all of this. We were unable to find anywhere in our family histories or genetics that would cause this. Right after meeting with the GC we went in for an ultrasound, they said this would be a common occurance now, with a meeting with the Perinatologist to follow all of the other parts of Nathan. We were told that with this heart condition they usually see either missing or misplaced organs in the rest of the body. When the ultrasound was complete they said that as far as they could tell all the organs were where they belonged. Then they said that they noticed he only had a two vessel umbelical cord not a three vessel cord like normal babies they assured us it is common but it could be a sign of Downsyndrome (if he has DS they said they would not do surgery because those babies usually don't survive this kind of surgery). After the Perinatologist left the Genetic Counselor came back in and said by the way our boy is growing she highly doubts that he has DS. The possibility of all of this upset me. I was trying to hold back the tears as we left the hospital that day and the 24 hours that followed. I know my God is BIGGER than this and He can reach down whenever He wants and make Nathan whole. My down fall is I am trying to "prepare" myself for the worst when what I need to be doing is focus on TODAY and what I have and be thankful that I get to enjoy everything I have right now. Thank you Lord. A few days later a lady from church asked me for an update because she remembered that I had an appointment earlier in the week. I told her about what the doctor had said about the two vessel cord and how they say it can be a sign for DS. She looked at me with her six month old son on her lap and said he had a two vessel cord and the doctors never said anything to her about the chances of that. That little bit of information from her helped me recharge. Because I was struggling with that information I believe God sent her to me at that moment to calm my fears. Talking with another friend she said I sounded "full of hope" for someone going through a situation like ours when most people would be so full of dispair. All I could say was "God's got it."
One day I was getting ready to leave for the grocery store with our two children and suddenly a song came to me the words were "There are days when I feel, The best of me is ready to begin, Then there're days when I feel, I'm letting go and soaring on the wind, Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain, How to survive, I get on my knees, I get on my knees, There I am before the love that changes me, See I don't know how but there's power, When I'm on my knees," and it goes on to talk about you can do it anywhere crowded places or alone. I walked to the middle of my living room and hit my knees in the middle of the floor and asked God to perform a miracle.
About midmonth we had a follow-up with the Pediatric Cardiologist. The doctor said we looked much better this time around seeing as how I wasn't crying uncontrolably. We told him we had a good support system between the Lord and all of our friends and family. He told us they had discovered that the veins that take the blood from the lungs back to the heart to be sent to the rest of the body were not working. This means that instead of being able to wait a few days to do surgery they would have to do it within hours of him being born and he would be in a by-pass machine. This, as I'm sure you can imagine, almost sent me back to the feelings of the first day. The doctor assured me that he was pretty sure there were no other defects to worry about that surgery should go as planned and he would be fine. I had a question I needed answered, how many surgeries like this do the surgens do? The PC said that obviously they don't do this everyday because not everyday there is a baby with this issue but they have done many of these procedures with great success stories. He told us he wants us to meet the Neonatologists who are the people that will be taking Nathan into surgery when he is born and we would arrange a date for that at a later time. I pray that even if we meet them that when the time comes we won't need them because he is healed. Although we got reassured by the PC I left feeling defeated and angry. I just wanted to go in look at the monitor and see that he was healed. I just want him better. I am so tired of stressing while trying to take care of myself and my family, but I know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and apparently He knows I am strong enough to handle this.
The following is something that was layed on my heart this month in the form of a poem:
The Day I Met Nathaniel Ethan
I met my son the other day, and an undescribable Joy overwhelmed me
The doctors say he has half a heart,
But they don't know that You work to completion,
and have known Nathan from before the start.
As the measure of my faith is put to the test,
I stand on Your promises, and lean on Your everlasting arms for rest.
They ask me how I'm doing, they say "I'm sorry" and that they will pray.
Yet when I open my mouthto speak, they're preplexed by what I have to say.
I have a Joy thats unspeakable and a peace that's beyond all understanding,
I have You to thank oh my Lord, because it's by Your wounds we have healing.
God, You've revealed to me what Nathan will accomplish for Your glory
With a beginning testimony like his, I know his life is going to be quite a story.
Father I thank You for my son,
I have the authority to speak life into him, because on the cross You said it is done.
In the name of Jesus, nothing missing, nothing broken...
"In Christ alone, my hope is found,
He is my Light, my Strength, my Song...
What Heights of LOVE, what DEPTHS OF PEACE
when fears are STILLED, when strivings CEASE, my COMFORTER, my ALL IN ALL
here in the LOVE of Christ I STAND!"
MOMMY:
March was another busy month.
The first part of the month we were instructed to meet with a Genetic Counselor to talk about different tests we can run. During the conversation with her we also went through all of our family history and genetics to see if we could determine what caused all of this. We were unable to find anywhere in our family histories or genetics that would cause this. Right after meeting with the GC we went in for an ultrasound, they said this would be a common occurance now, with a meeting with the Perinatologist to follow all of the other parts of Nathan. We were told that with this heart condition they usually see either missing or misplaced organs in the rest of the body. When the ultrasound was complete they said that as far as they could tell all the organs were where they belonged. Then they said that they noticed he only had a two vessel umbelical cord not a three vessel cord like normal babies they assured us it is common but it could be a sign of Downsyndrome (if he has DS they said they would not do surgery because those babies usually don't survive this kind of surgery). After the Perinatologist left the Genetic Counselor came back in and said by the way our boy is growing she highly doubts that he has DS. The possibility of all of this upset me. I was trying to hold back the tears as we left the hospital that day and the 24 hours that followed. I know my God is BIGGER than this and He can reach down whenever He wants and make Nathan whole. My down fall is I am trying to "prepare" myself for the worst when what I need to be doing is focus on TODAY and what I have and be thankful that I get to enjoy everything I have right now. Thank you Lord. A few days later a lady from church asked me for an update because she remembered that I had an appointment earlier in the week. I told her about what the doctor had said about the two vessel cord and how they say it can be a sign for DS. She looked at me with her six month old son on her lap and said he had a two vessel cord and the doctors never said anything to her about the chances of that. That little bit of information from her helped me recharge. Because I was struggling with that information I believe God sent her to me at that moment to calm my fears. Talking with another friend she said I sounded "full of hope" for someone going through a situation like ours when most people would be so full of dispair. All I could say was "God's got it."
One day I was getting ready to leave for the grocery store with our two children and suddenly a song came to me the words were "There are days when I feel, The best of me is ready to begin, Then there're days when I feel, I'm letting go and soaring on the wind, Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain, How to survive, I get on my knees, I get on my knees, There I am before the love that changes me, See I don't know how but there's power, When I'm on my knees," and it goes on to talk about you can do it anywhere crowded places or alone. I walked to the middle of my living room and hit my knees in the middle of the floor and asked God to perform a miracle.
About midmonth we had a follow-up with the Pediatric Cardiologist. The doctor said we looked much better this time around seeing as how I wasn't crying uncontrolably. We told him we had a good support system between the Lord and all of our friends and family. He told us they had discovered that the veins that take the blood from the lungs back to the heart to be sent to the rest of the body were not working. This means that instead of being able to wait a few days to do surgery they would have to do it within hours of him being born and he would be in a by-pass machine. This, as I'm sure you can imagine, almost sent me back to the feelings of the first day. The doctor assured me that he was pretty sure there were no other defects to worry about that surgery should go as planned and he would be fine. I had a question I needed answered, how many surgeries like this do the surgens do? The PC said that obviously they don't do this everyday because not everyday there is a baby with this issue but they have done many of these procedures with great success stories. He told us he wants us to meet the Neonatologists who are the people that will be taking Nathan into surgery when he is born and we would arrange a date for that at a later time. I pray that even if we meet them that when the time comes we won't need them because he is healed. Although we got reassured by the PC I left feeling defeated and angry. I just wanted to go in look at the monitor and see that he was healed. I just want him better. I am so tired of stressing while trying to take care of myself and my family, but I know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and apparently He knows I am strong enough to handle this.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
February
FEBRUARY 2012
Daddy:
Being a man, finding out that your son has not just one, but many incredible heart deffects is something that will put things into perspective REAL quick. Before we got the news Missy and I were focused on our family, youth group ministry, and getting things ready to claim our new house in Jesus' name (another miracle), but something like this gets your attention on whats really important. Once we got the news that Friday, many questions, thoughts and fears arose. After immediately calling pastors, family and friends and getting our little man on the pray chains. We spent that evening with some very close personal friends, whom I thank God for every day. Through talking with them, they told us that we needed to find a name for our little man, so we could BOLDLY bring him before the Lord daily. While at our friends house, I get a call from my mom, checking on how I was doing, if there was anything we needed that she could do. She too, also advised me that I needed to name my son so we could bring him before the Lord. It was clear that God wanted this son of His named, and as his earthly father I did not take the job lightly. After looking online at list after list of names and meanings of those names, I felt there was only one choice, being led by the Holy Spirit I came up with Nathaniel Ethan. It wasn't a big crowd pleaser at first, seeing how my son's initials would be N.E.W., after much prayer we knew that this was God's name He had chosen for our son.
After leaving our friends house, we went home and went to bed, it had been quite a day. With our other two children staying at their Auntie's house, our home was very quiet, and between that, and the news we were digesting neither Missy or I really got too much sleep. I got up early that next morning, Saturday, and awoke to an email from my close friend, calling all the men in our men's group to prayer. Needless to say that this particular email drove me to tears. So weeping like a small boy, I opened my bible and to study the verses that were in this email. Upon studying those I found many other verses that really spoke to me in a deep way. Feeling like I could do nothing else, I began to write, something I used to love doing, but haven't found myself doing lately. What I didn't know is that what I would write, would inspire people, and act as a "prayer cloth" for my son.
NATHANIEL ETHAN WATKINS
Nathaniel- Gift of God
Ethan- Strong and optimistic
Solid and enduring
Permanent
Firm
N.E.W. - 2 Corinthians 5:17- The old is gone, the new is come, we are made brand new!
John 10:10- Life abundantly. Nathan has this promise.
1 Peter 2:24
Exodus 15:26
Psalms 118:17
Psalms 139:13-14
Jeremiah 1:5
Psalms 103:1-3
Mommy:
The month of February brought many emotions for us. We were scared, shocked, quizzitive, but we
knew all the answers for all of these emotions could be found by reading our Bibles and being in constant prayer. We found out on a Friday and were at church first thing Sunday morning. I was nervous. I had finally come to grips a little with the news as long as people were not asking me a million questions and telling me they were "sorry." My husband and friends advised that we stay home but we knew we needed to be there. Everything went surprisingly well. We were able to show where our faith really lay by not letting this get us down and being there to worship and praise the Lord for what the future held for us. Within days we were talking with family and friends about our faith and how we know God can heal and we just have to believe and trust in Him. Just five days after I was in such peace that people were asking me if I was wearing a fake smile. All I can say is when you have something this BIG come up in your life you realize there are bigger forces at work for you and you have to realize that you don't have control over it but God does and He knows what is best for you and your family. He takes you through things to teach you and others about His love for you. By giving the situation to Him and saying He is in control He blessed us with "Joy Unspeakable." We are smiling because we know that through this we will be able to touch more people and speak to more people and share with them our Hope and others don't understand how we can be smiling. I had been so excited about what the Lord was doing and is going to do through this that I was even talking to bill collectors about it on the phone, saying "sorry I havn't been able to call and pay you, we have been in a lot of doctors appointments because they say our little guy has a serious heart defect, but God's going to take care of it and it will all be ok." They probably thought I was nuts but thats the joy I have. Also within five days we had 13 churches from Washington, Idaho, and California praying for us. By the end of February we also had churches in Alaska, South Carolina, and Arizona also praying.
About a week after finding out about Nathaniel I was listening to our local Christian radio station and a song came on that struck me to the core. The words were "I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, that you are who You are, no matter where I am, every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand, You've never left my side, though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm." I felt I was being spoken to through this. I felt it saying God has it all under control, just keep prasing Him for all He has done and all that He is going to do through this, all the people you will get to speak to, He knows your hurting but He is holding you and the situation you are in no matter what you are going through. This gave me a peace. HE'S GOT IT!!
With God ALL things are possible!!
Daddy:
Being a man, finding out that your son has not just one, but many incredible heart deffects is something that will put things into perspective REAL quick. Before we got the news Missy and I were focused on our family, youth group ministry, and getting things ready to claim our new house in Jesus' name (another miracle), but something like this gets your attention on whats really important. Once we got the news that Friday, many questions, thoughts and fears arose. After immediately calling pastors, family and friends and getting our little man on the pray chains. We spent that evening with some very close personal friends, whom I thank God for every day. Through talking with them, they told us that we needed to find a name for our little man, so we could BOLDLY bring him before the Lord daily. While at our friends house, I get a call from my mom, checking on how I was doing, if there was anything we needed that she could do. She too, also advised me that I needed to name my son so we could bring him before the Lord. It was clear that God wanted this son of His named, and as his earthly father I did not take the job lightly. After looking online at list after list of names and meanings of those names, I felt there was only one choice, being led by the Holy Spirit I came up with Nathaniel Ethan. It wasn't a big crowd pleaser at first, seeing how my son's initials would be N.E.W., after much prayer we knew that this was God's name He had chosen for our son.
After leaving our friends house, we went home and went to bed, it had been quite a day. With our other two children staying at their Auntie's house, our home was very quiet, and between that, and the news we were digesting neither Missy or I really got too much sleep. I got up early that next morning, Saturday, and awoke to an email from my close friend, calling all the men in our men's group to prayer. Needless to say that this particular email drove me to tears. So weeping like a small boy, I opened my bible and to study the verses that were in this email. Upon studying those I found many other verses that really spoke to me in a deep way. Feeling like I could do nothing else, I began to write, something I used to love doing, but haven't found myself doing lately. What I didn't know is that what I would write, would inspire people, and act as a "prayer cloth" for my son.
NATHANIEL ETHAN WATKINS
Nathaniel- Gift of God
Ethan- Strong and optimistic
Solid and enduring
Permanent
Firm
N.E.W. - 2 Corinthians 5:17- The old is gone, the new is come, we are made brand new!
John 10:10- Life abundantly. Nathan has this promise.
1 Peter 2:24
Exodus 15:26
Psalms 118:17
Psalms 139:13-14
Jeremiah 1:5
Psalms 103:1-3
Mommy:
The month of February brought many emotions for us. We were scared, shocked, quizzitive, but we
knew all the answers for all of these emotions could be found by reading our Bibles and being in constant prayer. We found out on a Friday and were at church first thing Sunday morning. I was nervous. I had finally come to grips a little with the news as long as people were not asking me a million questions and telling me they were "sorry." My husband and friends advised that we stay home but we knew we needed to be there. Everything went surprisingly well. We were able to show where our faith really lay by not letting this get us down and being there to worship and praise the Lord for what the future held for us. Within days we were talking with family and friends about our faith and how we know God can heal and we just have to believe and trust in Him. Just five days after I was in such peace that people were asking me if I was wearing a fake smile. All I can say is when you have something this BIG come up in your life you realize there are bigger forces at work for you and you have to realize that you don't have control over it but God does and He knows what is best for you and your family. He takes you through things to teach you and others about His love for you. By giving the situation to Him and saying He is in control He blessed us with "Joy Unspeakable." We are smiling because we know that through this we will be able to touch more people and speak to more people and share with them our Hope and others don't understand how we can be smiling. I had been so excited about what the Lord was doing and is going to do through this that I was even talking to bill collectors about it on the phone, saying "sorry I havn't been able to call and pay you, we have been in a lot of doctors appointments because they say our little guy has a serious heart defect, but God's going to take care of it and it will all be ok." They probably thought I was nuts but thats the joy I have. Also within five days we had 13 churches from Washington, Idaho, and California praying for us. By the end of February we also had churches in Alaska, South Carolina, and Arizona also praying.
About a week after finding out about Nathaniel I was listening to our local Christian radio station and a song came on that struck me to the core. The words were "I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, that you are who You are, no matter where I am, every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand, You've never left my side, though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm." I felt I was being spoken to through this. I felt it saying God has it all under control, just keep prasing Him for all He has done and all that He is going to do through this, all the people you will get to speak to, He knows your hurting but He is holding you and the situation you are in no matter what you are going through. This gave me a peace. HE'S GOT IT!!
With God ALL things are possible!!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Welcome all!!
First off we would like to thank everyone for taking time to stop by and check out our blog.
My husband and I live in Washington state and have two beautiful children Adrian (3years) and Elisha (14months). Now let me tell you a little about the reason we are here. In February 2012 we went in for a routine mid-pregnancy ultrasound for our 3rd child. A few hours after the ultrasound we were contacted by our midwife telling us to go directly to the hospital as they had found a serious heart defect in our little man. After two and a half hours in the Pediatric Cardiologist office getting all sorts of ultrasounds and cardiograms we got the news that our little man (to simplify it) has half a heart that is turned the wrong way, tilted the wrong way, and there are major veins and arteries missing. According to the doctors he can live but not without multiple surgeries starting from the time he is born. As you can imagine we were in shock. However, we believe in God and we know that He still preforms miracles. We immidiatly informed our Pastor of what was going on and he went to work getting us on all of the prayer chains in the area.After word had spread within three weeks we had churches in seven different states praying for us. It was very humbling to know that people we don't know all over the country are praying and believing with us that our little man will be healed.
With all of the people we have contacting us asking us updates we thought it would be easiest to start a blog so that everyone who wanted to keep up on his progress could follow us. It is our hope that our story can inspire, encourage, give hope, and most of all increase faith.
Upcoming posts will up date you in more detail on what happened in February and March and get you up to date where we hope to continue to post weekly if not sooner. Thank you.
God Bless.
First off we would like to thank everyone for taking time to stop by and check out our blog.
My husband and I live in Washington state and have two beautiful children Adrian (3years) and Elisha (14months). Now let me tell you a little about the reason we are here. In February 2012 we went in for a routine mid-pregnancy ultrasound for our 3rd child. A few hours after the ultrasound we were contacted by our midwife telling us to go directly to the hospital as they had found a serious heart defect in our little man. After two and a half hours in the Pediatric Cardiologist office getting all sorts of ultrasounds and cardiograms we got the news that our little man (to simplify it) has half a heart that is turned the wrong way, tilted the wrong way, and there are major veins and arteries missing. According to the doctors he can live but not without multiple surgeries starting from the time he is born. As you can imagine we were in shock. However, we believe in God and we know that He still preforms miracles. We immidiatly informed our Pastor of what was going on and he went to work getting us on all of the prayer chains in the area.After word had spread within three weeks we had churches in seven different states praying for us. It was very humbling to know that people we don't know all over the country are praying and believing with us that our little man will be healed.
With all of the people we have contacting us asking us updates we thought it would be easiest to start a blog so that everyone who wanted to keep up on his progress could follow us. It is our hope that our story can inspire, encourage, give hope, and most of all increase faith.
Upcoming posts will up date you in more detail on what happened in February and March and get you up to date where we hope to continue to post weekly if not sooner. Thank you.
God Bless.
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